I spent the weekend feeling blue about life. Financial strains, sick child, homework, housecleaning...you know all the normal single mom stuff.
On Friday evening after Hank was done Sapbooking (jealous of him he got three pages done) I put him in my bed so he would go to sleep. Thanks to my sister I realized I had let him stay up until about midnight. I spent some time on the phone with my sister. After our conversation of about two hours I sat on my couch and just cried and let all my emotions out.
This is what I thought about:
My life is going to continue for an endetermined amount of days. I can spend these days sitting here crying, or I can make some better choices.
Remember what it was like to be carefree, to run around outside without your shoes on? I remember what it was like to visit Papa and get ice cream. Remember when you didn't have to worry about cooking dinner, macaroni and cheese was fine if mom wasn't cooking for you.
I have come to the conclusion that I want Hank to have memories of carefree days, enjoying life. I found a picture of my Aunt Barbs with hair extensions on and a big smile on her face. She was genuinely happy and enjoying every minute of us making fun of her. I want everyone who knows me to have some memory of me being carefree and HAPPY.
So my goal is to create memories like that for myself and for Hank. I am going to start with at least a once a week thing. No tv no computer just pure fun.
